Love Is Tragedy.

“And the story of us looks like a tragedy now.”

“If we’d loved again, I swear I’d love you right, I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t.”

For me, these songs are dedicated to him. I don’t know why he forgot me or maybe I think it’s my fault why he avoided me.

And before the story becomes a tragedy, this is how the story started.

It’s the start of the first day of college and I’m nervous, ‘cause I don’t know anyone in the university except for my highschool friends who’s gonna study in there too. But we have different courses so we can’t be classmates. I’m taking up Hotel and Restaurant Management. First day of classes, I’m running up late ‘cause there’s a long line in the entrance (blame the H1N1 epidemic, they’re so tight in security) and I still need to get my id. When I’ve finally got my id, I immediately find my classroom, a class is ongoing on that room, I’m really late. So I just waited outside. After that class is adjourned, I decided to follow them to the next class. When I’ve got there they’re still waiting outside, a class is still ongoing on our next room. Oh my God they already knew each other, they have companions and friends now. I’m alone and I don’t want to be alone in the rest of the day, so I take up all the courage and asked one of the groups. “Excuse me, Is this the room of HR1D?” One of them answered, “Yes.” “Ah, thanks, um, do you just know each other today? Can I join you?” I asked. Minute of silence, crossed fingers. “Yes”, they said and smiled. I smiled back too. Lucky day. Thanks for lending the courage. Few more days came, been closer to my new friends. Then one day, my friend said, “Ana, someone is asking, do you have an extra ballpen?” “Let’s see, um, I have here.”, I answered. Then my friend gave it to one of our classmates. If that classmate returned the ballpen, I don’t quite remember. But I remember the face of the borrower. It’s him. I don’t quite remember how it happened, but it just sort of happened, all of a sudden, I’m already close to him. Teaching him the assignments, he sitting beside me. One day, while waiting for our next class in a student’s waiting area. He suddenly came and sat beside me. Then he talked, and asked me suddenly, “Can I court you?” and I was like, ‘What?’ But all I answered is, “I don’t know.” More days passed by, and because of that question, I’ve started to notice him more. He used to be beside me. I remember one day he has a pick up line, but I don’t get it, because at that time pick up lines is not still in. He asks, “Are you SM?” and I don’t get it. So I’ve just said is, “Ah??” but he said something next, “’Cause you got it all.” As days came, being with him, feelings started to develop. He calls me, ‘Rosalinda’, and I don’t know why. Maybe because at that time, the Filipino remake of Rosalinda is still ongoing on television station. When he got my number, he texts me a lot. Asking if I already ate. And other more things. I still remember one day, it’s Valentine’s day, he texted me asking If we want to date. But I was at my home province at that time and I’m sick and I need some rest, so I just ignored his text. And I regret that. One time, at school, he sat beside me, and showed me his drawing, I just look at it then say nothing. I just continued what I’m doing. My friends at school dislike him for me. He was kind for me and I’m innocent. And still at that time I don’t want any relationship, I just want to study and finish it. Studies is my first priority and love is the last. My friends also says that he is not good for me. And maybe it was, because I’m letting him a sneak at my answers in tests. And also one day, I made him a cheat sheet in a subject and as I was doing it, my professor caught me and I almost cried at that time. That night, he texted me saying, ‘I’m sorry’, twice. But I didn’t reply. I was mad at him. I hate liking him for making me did that. I am being the girl she wants, not being my true self. The next day, I don’t want to talk to him but during break time, while we are walking down the hallway going back to the room, I saw him waiting for me in the door. He is blocking the door, he let my friend in but he stopped me from entering, he was saying ‘Sorry’ again. I still don’t want to accept it but he insists. He will not let me in until I accepted his apology. So I was forced to accept it, just to finish the conversation. The days of the first semester passed by so quickly. Until that semester ended. In the course of the second semester, we’re not classmates anymore ‘cause we’re in different sections. We still have contact but we seldom text, I am always waiting for his text. And I’ll ask him how he was, did he made new friends, something like that. Also at school when he sees me, he always call me with the nickname he gave me. As my feelings continue to grow for him, I also started to avoid him. And maybe that’s when it started to fall apart. When I’ve gone back to my old self trying to talk to him again, I’ve noticed he‘s avoiding me, he doesn’t greet me anymore when he sees me in the hallway. He’s talking to our old classmates but not to me. It’s like he doesn’t know me anymore, I’m now completely a stranger to him. Because of what’s happening, the avoidance, the silence. I was like regretting everything. But I must accept it. And so days go on and on. Until one day, I’ve heard that he has already a girlfriend. I was like in the state of denial at that time. I was thinking, ‘Is that the reason he avoided me, he was courting another girl? Or as we are still in good terms, he’s already looking after other girls?’. I don’t know, but all I know is I’ve been hurt and I must move on and heal my broken heart. And I must also say, “As the remake of the ‘Rosalinda’ ended, our story was gone.” Until one day, someone came to ease the pain.

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