Hey guys, how yah doing? I think I’ve been gone for such a long time. I guess I’ve just had something we called writer’s block. Because those past few days I’ve been in such a whirlwind of emotions that I don’t know what I’m feeling, I don’t know what to say or think, all I want during those times was to talk to people around me, to told my story, to hear their opinions, to read my unsent letter and mostly was to talk to him, ‘cause I think he was slipping, gripping away and I want to hold on but I think things were already late.
Last Christmas, I had some late night conversations with my college classmates who knew him, they were like saying, ‘maybe you can be together, he’s single and you too’, but I said, ‘don’t push things, if it is meant to be it will.’ So instead they just suggested, greet him, it’s Christmas anyway. So that morning I’ve pm him on facebook, he responded at first, greeted back, but the conversation didn’t last, he didn’t replied anymore and the worst is, he’d never try to read my next message, and I start to wonder, why he’s being like that, acting cold, and there I was again, over thinking things. Some we’re saying, ‘maybe he’s just busy’ but I said, ‘no he wasn’t, he’s online almost every day’, and then again I let him hurt me. I’ve also told my story to my other friends and they said, ‘if he want to talk to you, he will, if he likes you, he’ll make an effort, you’ve just been assuming.’ Okay, yes, maybe or really I am, assuming it is. So I think too much after that, I had a breakdown, I cried once but after that I said to myself, ‘stop crying ana, enjoy life, you still had you’re friends and family.’ During the next days, I vent out myself in music, food, my friends and family. Then I’ve realized what I already had. They’re enough.